Fiction: Endings

1. What is the plot?

            The plot for my story is a senior in high school commits suicide after discovering his girlfriend lying to him. After his suicide, Ben comes back as a Shade – a ghostlike figure – who cannot speak, or be seen, but can explore the world. He uses his new form to follow his girlfriend, until she sees his reflection.

2. What are the major scenes? For each scene, what is the vital question posed?

            Major Scene 1: Ben is in a car underwater, drowning. The reader, at this moment, is not sure what is going on, what happened, or why he is drowning. Was it purposeful?

            Major Scene 2: Ben sees his girlfriend hugging his dead body, but he doesn’t seem upset to have left her. What happened to the pair?

            Major Scene 3: Victoria is chased from her school because of un-wanted comments, and a seen of aggression. Does she regret her choices?

            Major Scene 4: Victoria sees Ben’s reflection. Will Ben accept her being able to see him?

3. What scene is missing from the story or what scene has been under-explored?

            There are a few scenes missing from the story, but none that are overly important to the plot that it would change the outcome. One scene that is missing is a flashback to a few days prior to Ben’s accident. This flashback would reveal more to the reader and why Ben chose what he did.

            As far as a scene that has been under-explored, it would have to be the scene when Victoria and Ben meet each other for the second time. The story skips to how Victoria discovers to communicate with Ben, leaving the reader wondering how she came up with the idea so quickly.

4. How could you rearrange the sequence of events and still focus on the character's struggle?

            Rather than starting with Ben’s accident, the story could start with the scene that I originally had planned as a flashback. This wouldn’t confuse the story, and it would still focus on Ben’s struggle with Victoria.

5. What external forces stand in the way of your character getting what he/she wants?

            Throughout the story, there are a few things that are in the way of Ben’s desires. One is A.J. Ben ultimately wants Victoria, but A.J. gets in the way of that, which brings Ben to his accident. Ben’s accident is also a force that stands in the way of Victoria, until he discovers how he can still be near her at the end.

1. What is the internal conflict?

            Ben struggles to grasp why Victoria would hurt him. But he also struggles with the concept of her weeping over him. He wants to see her fail, but at the same time, feels guilty for thinking in that way.

2. What is at stake for your character in terms of the conflict?

            My character is in search of an eternity. He wants to belong to someone, but when he discovers that his girlfriend doesn’t want just him, he decides that there is nothing else he wants more and sees no end, but his own.

3. What type of decision does the character have to make at the crisis point?

            After being seen by Victoria, Ben must decide whether to face her, or to leave for good.

4. Why is the character ambivalent about this decision?

            Victoria is the cause of his accident, the reason for his demise. He is skeptical in allowing her back in, but he wants answers. He is not sure how to get them.

5. What action shows your character's change at the end of the story?

            Ben changes throughout the story, starting off as an angered, hateful person who wants to see the people who caused hurt to him, suffer; he then begins to feel guilty and wants to punish those who are punishing Victoria. At the end of the story, however, Ben no longer struggles with his decision, he doesn’t regret it. All he wants is for Victoria to be happy, whereas at the beginning of the story, he wanted her to live without happiness.

6.  Fiction Reflection: Now that you have finished the fiction section, reflect on how it went for you.  You might respond to such questions as What do you know now that you didn't know before starting the fiction section? What do you still want to learn? What are your strengths and weaknesses in story writing.

            While I’m not sure what my strengths and weaknesses are in story writing, I do feel I have learned a great deal from this fiction section. One major aspect to story writing I have learned is how to start a story. I never realized that creating the first few sentences of a story was so vital, and such an art form, that the writer must get it writer if they wish to hold the readers’ attention. I’ve known that the introduction to a story was important, and that it was the section that kept the reader interested in the story, but I never thought about, or learned how to go about writing an introductory.

            An aspect to writing that I still need to work on would be developing my characters’ background. At times, I can be too quick to place a character into a story, I forget to design the character. I also need to work more on the dialogue to my story. I feel that, especially with my short story assignment, my dialogue lacks a certain attention concept, which I am trying to incorporate how I want the reader to feel.

                              

CRW_Character

Part B: Observing a random shopper in Wal-Mart as I, too, shopped.

Part C: a. Simon

b. N/a

c. Male

d. Approximately mid-30’s

e. Large male, bald, patchy beard, diamond earrings, dark (brown) eyes, dirty, white, New Balance shoes, black and red basketball shorts, grey shirt with a quote “Don’t bite the hand that feeds” (also the illuminati symbol?), approximately 6’2, deep booming voice.

f. N/a

g. N/a

h. N/a

i. No visible wedding band on his ring finger. Assuming he is not married, possible girlfriend with him?

j. N/a

k. The shopper was in the meat aisle, must not be vegetarian, primarily looking at chicken breasts. Perhaps prefers chicken over red meat.

l. African-American

m. He was shopping with a female, approximately the same age range, but neither wore wedding rings. Assuming she is a girlfriend.

n. N/a

o. Had a Bluetooth earpiece in his left ear, holding an iphone.

p. N/a

q. N/a

r. N/a

s. N/a

t. N/a

u. N/a

v. N/a

w. N/a

x. As I was leaving, I noticed him walking with the female to a car. It was a 2006-2008 Nissan Altima. Dark blue in color, four doors.

y. N/a

z. N/a

Part D: based off the person I observed.

Skin: Brown

Hair: Bald

Eyes: Brown

Height: approximately 6’2, tall.

Weight: Overweight

Build: Large

Part F:

a. What makes you character laugh? He laughs at stupid comments his co-worker(s) make, videos found online, and when his girlfriend makes comments about eating healthier foods.

What is your character afraid of? Simon claims to not be afraid of anything, but he is not the biggest fan of birds. They do not visibly frighten him, but his heart rate quickens when they approach.

What makes your character angry? Simon does not like lazy people. Those who sit at home and do not want to work to support their life, or family’s life, make Simon mad. He also doesn’t like it when someone makes comments about his girlfriend.

What specific incident is your character most ashamed of? He wishes he could go back and finish his college degree, culinary arts, so he could provide a better future for himself.

What are your character’s superstitions? Simon battles daily in regards to belief. He was raised as a Baptist, but through his years, he has begun to doubt.

b. Characters are defined by the objects they wear, carry, and even throw away. Write about your character describing the contents of his/her garbage.

            When going through Simon’s trash, one will find a variety of objects. Empty soda cans (coke, because it is better than any other soda); Take-out chicken from the local fast food chicken restaurant; Letters that come by mail each week (he receives no less than two letters from a particular person every week, but he leaves them unopened, and tosses them in the trash); Pay stubs from work; empty packs of cigarettes; liquor bottles, beer cans.

c. Write a paragraph in the voice of our character in the first person where he/she introduces him/herself. Have your character include the following information: Name, age, physical appearance, education, vocation/occupation, ethnicity, financial status, marital status, residency, hobbies, transportation, sexual history, Religion.

            “What’s up everyone, I am Simon Adams, a 36-year-old African-American. My friends call me ‘Worm’, a nickname I got from the movie, Friday, with Ice Cube and Chris Tucker, made in 1995. I graduated from Boone High School in 1997; Never had the best grades in my class, but I didn’t flunk out neither. The culinary arts was where I felt I belonged – I mean, look at me, I obviously like food,” I said, laughing. “I got about half-way through my education at Le Courdon Bleu, but dropped cause of financial issues. You need money to live, and I ain’t have any good money coming in at the time, you know? That’s when I was hired at the KFC off 441 to be the cook. I ain’t rich, but I make enough to get by. The house I stay in is actually a block behind the KFC, I live there with my girl. My girl’s name is Tonya, she’s been with me for, God, 6 years now? Outside of work I watch too much sports. Football, basketball. I don’t watch none of that hockey, or baseball crap. No boring sports neither. I try to catch the games every Sunday at a local bar, Cooter Browns, where I can eat wings, drink beer, and watch the games.”

d. “It doesn’t take much, does it, for you lazy people to fall behind on orders,” I said to the staff today. The manager’s out of town, and he left me in charge for the weekend. “Come on, let’s get things moving.”

            “Calm down, Simon. We ain’t bad off yet, man,” said Damian, a high school student who has only worked here for 3 weeks.

            “Boy, how long have you worked here? How long have I?” He doesn’t want to test my patience, today is the day I can finally prove I have what it takes to be a manager here. “You can’t possibly know how the day is gonna be.”

            Damian shook his head, turned his back on me, and walked outside. I ain’t putting up with this here today, I think to myself. Walking around the “Employees only beyond this point” door, I head towards where Damian walked out. Stopping long enough to turn my head and say, “Make sure everything gets put up, and prepped correctly. We open in 15 minutes. I’ll be back in a minute.”

            I walk outside and Damian is by the dumpster, smoking a cigarette. Deciding I should keep my cool, and let him off easy, I take out my pack of cigarettes, and light one with him.

            “Look, Damian, I know you only been here three weeks, but you gotta learn who is in charge here,” I tell him.

            Exhaling the smoke from his cigarette, he looks at me saying, “Man, you ain’t the one in charge. Roger is, but he out of town. The only reason you were left to handle everything is cause you been here longer.” He flicks the butt of his cigarette, letting ash fall to the ground.

            “Maybe that’s true, but you know what, he left me in charge for the weekend. That means I call the shots, and I have been here longer, so I know how a typical Sunday goes. We get plenty of people coming in after their church gets out, wanting to buy chicken for the games,” I told him.

            Damian shook his head, and chuckled under his breath.

            “What’s so funny?” I ask him.

            He lets out another chuckle before responding. “Man, you think every Sunday gonna be like this. But it ain’t.”

            “Alright, tell you what. You think you know so much how about this, if today don’t go the way I think, I’ll let you take over the next time Roger is out. If I’m right, you gotta stop trying to defy everyone with authority.” I try to cut a deal with him.

            “Yeah, alright. I’ll take that,” he said.

            I was right about the day. It was crowded, and we were busy. I got this manager role down.
Part G:

“Simon!” It was Ariel calling his name. She came barging out the door, frantic, “The oven just burned out,” she said.

            Putting out his cigarette, Simon told her he was coming. He had seen this kind of malfunction before, but he had never fixed the issue himself. With the restraint manager on vacation this week, Simon was the man in charge. He would have to resolve the situation, and fast. The restaurant opened in thirty minutes.

            Smoke filled the kitchen, though there was no visible fire. “Everyone step out into the lobby. Damian, call Hector and see if he is available to give us a hand today,” Simon said. Hector was the area mechanic; he could fix just about anything.

            “Hector said it’d be an hour before he could come this way,” Damian told Simon.

            This was it; Simon had to take matters into his own hands. Maybe the company would finally see how devoted he was, and calm under pressure he could be. Simon got down on the floor to look under the oven, but didn’t see anything except years of dust that had collected and an old pair of tongs that had been missing for some time.

            Smoke still filled the kitchen, but Simon checked to see if the oven was still smoking. It was not. He then moved the oven out from the wall to give him room to look in the back. Everything still looked fine. The last thing he did was open the ovens door. Inside was a burned out bulb, shattered inside the oven. Morgan is not going to like this, he thought to himself. Morgan was the manager.

            Simon cleaned up the shattered mess from the bulb, but it was still unclear what sparked the oven to burn out. He didn’t know what to do to get it back running, and with the restaurant opening in ten minutes, Simon decided they would have to run on two ovens, rather than three.

Standards Assignment 3a

What are three writing rules that I find important?

In no particular order:

1. Be true to yourself - This means don't allow someone else to dictate your writing. You are writing for you, then for your audience. If you are taken out of the writing process, the ideas that you have, and the direction you are going, then there is no story. You have the idea, make it happen.

2. Don't forget to read - Reading is fundamental when it comes to writing. This is my opinion of course, but I believe what makes you a great writer is your ability to read and see what other writers are doing as well. Reading gives the writer a break from their world to enter into another dimension, time, world, or setting. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying to read in order for you to find inspiration, rather, I believe reading important because it can provide the writer with necessary tools for their own writing.

3. Don't limit yourself - Limiting yourself to one genre, or one topic can drain your creativity quickly. By expanding your realm of creativity you are capable of taking your writing in different places. Find inspiration from everything around you; everywhere you go; anything you see, hear, touch, taste; whatever you may hear on the news. I have found that by opening up my abilities to perceive our world as it is, I can find inspiration to my own writing in these ways.